Woka Woka eh eh!

My my my...my unknown and unfamiliar friends that I do not know.

Do I have news for you! It may make you feel yellow, green and maybe blue, and you may also not know what to do. But I'll tell you. What to do.
A couple of thousand hours ago there was a great arrangement in my country Africa - the biggest country in the WORLD! It was an event that brought many people from all over the world to the biggest country in the world. They all represented their country and were ready to fight, all day and all night 'till they felt it was right, and one could seperate a coward from a knight. It was the world cup, that's right!

Suddenly it happened to me and my country, right in front of my face - everybody on this globe wanted to be a part of my every day to day life, look at my wife and even hold my kazoo-formed knife! All of the country's muddy hotels were full, the backyard and frontyard children were prevented from going to school because the classrooms had to be reserved to all the football players. It went well with the economy, or at least I think so, couse all the ATM machines were emptied for money. Which is a good thing. Right? You see, it is good, eh?

It was all a blast for a couple of days, we even had rainy days. The Gods were with us, the flood came and drowned many flies and that way prevented that we didn't get them in our eyes all the time, you know? But then it all changed! An ostrich-looking lady Di witch won the lottery and therefore got to use all her money on whatever she wanted, and she chose to go to a studio in the desert, far away from an apple tree to make a song. And since she had some cash money bling bling left after the studio recordings, she decided to make a musical video to show all, everyone, everybody, you as well, and your moma too so she wouldn't feel left out and blue (but not your second cousin, couse he's weird and wouldn't understand anyway). This was now the richest woman in my tribe at that time, and that's why she decided - with a little help from her good and "special" friend, the President (which by the way has a big, big resident) - that this should be the official song during the games (and remember, we're not talking about chess here, okay?!).

This has made me furious. Why? Why?! Oh, so NOW all of a sudden you're curious! Well, that makes me happy and a little less furious. This witch-look-a-like-lady who calls herself Cheikh Irrrr Aaahh decided to call this "official song" for Waka Waka (eeh eeeh). That is okay. The song is groovy, easy rhythm and blues, and she has a good pronunciation. However, everhow, the lyrics doesn't come with a good enough explanation!

You don't get me, eh? Well, let me give it to you with a tea spoon, you tea party supporting member (sorry, I can't remember your name, have me excused, if not I'll have YOU excused, you mambo jambo man (or woman): The weird looking oh-look-at-me-I-think-I'm-someone-yet-I'm-nothing-without-my-money-and-my-tribe-lady sings as follows:

Tsamina mina eh eh Waka Waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa

Do you see what I see? Do you feel what I feel? Can you understand the reason for my reaction? Yes? Good! No?! Really, eh? Well, my mambo-jambo-bwana man, I am not surprised! She finishes the last sentence by saying "This time for Africa".

What she SHOULD be saying is "This time for Africa, if not there will not be any other opportunity for us to say to the rest of the world that we are still in desperate need of flu-eh-smeckas so we can keep on killing all of the flies that are still in our eyes all the time, but don't get it twisted, this does not that mean that we are poor, only that we have flies in our eyes, in fact we are richer than you, so there, haha!"

And even worse: at the end of the song she raps as follows: "We're all Africa, We're all Africa", trying to be the big and fancy diplomat including all of these countries that are strugglin' and fighting hard like wounded soldiers in a guerilla war just to make them feel better. What I have to say to this is "No, madame! I object, this is not geographically right!" Not everybody is Africa. She should be singing what is right, not what is wrong. And this song is wrong! I have two alternatives for this lady-lady:

alternative Y: "We're NOT all Africa"

alternative Z: "We're all Africa...except Argentina, Andorra, Bulgaria, Belgium, Denmark, India, Argentina, Sweden, Switzerland and all of the other countries in Europe, Oceania, South America, North America, Asia and Central America!"

What's right is right, and what's wrong is wrong - and this is definately not right - this is wrong! Besides: I think this missy-missy would have been more famous with my alternative alternatives!

Cheikh Irrrrr Aaaahh: I have only one thing to say to you: Your song is wacka wacka, eh eh!!!