There´s something going on

These last days I haven´t been so happy. At least not happy happy. While many people have died of hunger, gotten children, drowned or just eaten too much, I have had some problems of my own. Some really personal problems that I have problems hiding, you know? Not any vulgar things like men getting too exsited in front of a female or a woman showing her big belly and not trying to hide that she is pregnant (couse that is actually quite vulgar!). This is a deeper issue that you can´t hide with a tissue, if you catch you catch me...if you can.

The other day I took a shower. I was very pleased with the neighbour singing next to me. He has been taking song lessons, so his shower singing has improved. And he has learned more songs than just the national anthem and the African lullaby, which is very short and makes you very sleepy, so this time he sang a new hit: "I like to move it, move it", so I got into the tune and started moving it, you know?

After moving it while I was getting the dirt off my back and between my toes, I dried myself like dogs do by shaking my body very fast for a little while and ran in the sun till I startes sweating (which was a bit stupid, because then I had to take another shower, but I couldn´t because I had used up all the cold water). Then I reached the lake Africa - the biggest lake in Africa, and also the only lake in Africa , which has the size of a little little teenie weenie umbrella. When I looked down at the lake I could see my own reflection in the water. And to my most uncomfortable and big elephant surprise I realized that I was starting to loose the colour of my black skin. Almost like having dandruff problems in my face, like a big disgrace, being in a wrong place at the wrong time while eating lime when you don´t have a single dime.

After splashing my feet in the water and singing "don´t worry, be happy" like ten times and realizing that it wouldn´t give me my nice, sweet and delicious brown-eyed-girl-skin back , I came up with a very water proof and concluded hypothesis; it is all the showers that has given me this dandruff issues.

Since then I have stopped taking showers and is therefore not able to listen to my neighbour´s progression in sing-a-long-songs, but sacrifising that to save my skin, reputation, evaluation, reclamation, nation, translation and at last, but not least, communication. This may sound outlandish to you, which is understandable, couse it is. Let me be more clear and say it like it´s real: I will not have a good reputation if I lose my brown-girl-in-the-rain-skin. I will lose the evaluation of my skin tone if I lose my Mrs-Brown-you´ve-got-a-lovely-daughter-skin. I cannot send a reclamation to the officer who didn´t want to give me the job the other day because I wasn´t colourful enough, couse now I am even less colourful! I mean, look at me! You know?! I will lose my nation Africa - the biggest country in the world, because I won´t look like my mother - Mama Africa. And I will most-definately-without-a-doubt-and-no-clue-of-what-you´re-talking-about lose my ability of translation and communication with the society. I mean, come on, man! How can I communicate with people on a day-to-day-basis when I look like this?

But to my big African messed-up-skin surprise I have found a good solution to my critical issue!
I have saved my skin like a lion saves a giraffe who has problems crossing the river. I have started taking artificial sun at a place called "brown and very happy with it!". It does two things for me:
1. It makes me brown
2. It makes me happy, sometimes even happy happy

So my conclusion is that I am very-most-certainly-without-a-doubt-and-don´t-you-hesitate-on-it-I-swear-I-am-telling-you-the-truth-if-not-I´d-be-lying happy with it.


Tank you, "Brown and very happy with it!". You are saving my skin, reputation, evaluation, reclamation, nation, translation and at last, but not least, communication.Basically my whole entire big long-lasting life.

I O U, UiO!